Sunday, February 21, 2010

Transitioning

Most peoples first question when they see me is "How is Johnny transitioning to being part of your family?". The answer to this is wonderfully! When we received information about his personality he was described as laid back and lovable. I would say that he is exactly that. He is happy unless hungry or ready to go to sleep. He loves to snuggle and be played with. He laughs at Emma while she dances, grabs everything he can get his hands on so that he can shove it in his mouth and is already soooo close to crawling.

The only real challenge we have had with him is sleep. We were told that babies process grief in their sleep so it would take a while for him to feel comfortable sleeping for long periods of time. This has proven to be very true for him. When we first brought him home he would wake up every hour and many times he would wake up screaming. It was a different type of cry than the typical half asleep, slightly hungry, dazed cry. It was more of a "where am I and what am I doing here?" cry. He will still wake up every once and a while with this cry but he is instantly calmed when he see our faces over his crib. He is finding comfort in us. He is trusting that we will be there when he wakes up (still sometimes every hour). It is amazing to us how quickly he has learned to put his trust in us. We are so thankful for this.

Though he is doing so well it has not been an easy transition for John and I. We have found that going from one to two children is quite the challenge. We were warned by larger families that the step from one to two was the hardest so were prepared somewhat for this. Emma was a very easy baby and for whatever reason, the transition from no kids to one was pretty smooth for us. We never had that month or two where we were just trying to keep our heads above water. I have asked a lot of mom's with two children how it went for them and the trend seems to be if they had a hard time with the first, the second was easy. But if the first was easy, the second was a bigger challenge. I can't really put my finger on why it is so much more challenging but I think it has something to do with being pulled in just one more direction and having to respond to the immediate needs of two instead of one. I am getting better and better at it without getting frazzled so hopefully this trend will continue.

We are beginning to feel a new "norm" come over our family and are coming out of survival mode. Now we just need to get him to sleep through the night....hmmmmm.......don't think that will happen anytime soon.

5 comments:

JonesEthiopia said...

The sleeping. Yes, that is so hard. R has had a lot of sleep issues over the past 2 years she's been home. I'm happy to tell you, though, it DOES get better, he will eventually sleep through the night, and you will, too. Doesn't make it any easier right now, though, I know. But R hasn't had a (major) sleep issue in about 6 months or so... Keep doing what you're doing to comfort him and make him feel safe. And it will all happen in time.

I think going from 1 to 2 is really heard, and I hate feeling pulled in two directions. And going from 2 to 3. I really can't imagine it right now.

Belleme said...

That's so great that he's finding comfort in you! :) We're looking forward to our transition from 0 to 1! I think that like you guys, we are SO ready that it will be JUST fine! :)

KAMILLE said...

I am glad to read this post, in that, in the midst of Johnny's anguish in the middle of the night he finds comfort in you & John. How very wonderful.

It is amazing how transition with kids is so very different. I would never say it's easy, but different or more difficult with certain transitions. I know we found 0 to 1 more difficult than 1 to 2, but both were so very different (as our girls are both very different & where we were as parents as well). It was finding where we needed to step in the dance or where we lost our rhythm.

There are days where I'm completely on rhythm and the next day I'm stepping on toes and the "transition of easy" is thrown out the window. I'll be praying for you two that you find your rhythm in parenting two and little graces will abound.

Jenny said...

i'm sure this IS so much more difficult! especially w/having emma being so easy first! i bet you're doing better than you think/feel you are... but more sleep is definitely going to be a good thing! hope it comes soon!

shauna said...

So glad things are going well... I seriously think Johnny and Maeve have the same personality! Maeve wanted me to say "hi" to her former roommate for her...
Take care.