Thursday, December 31, 2009

A Christmas Reflection

This Christmas marks the first Christmas that the Pell Family and the Stagge Family will not be together for the holiday season. The first time that gifts were shipped instead of hand delivered. The first time that we were responsible for filling eachothers stockings instead of relying on our mothers to take care of it for us. The first year that we will wake up Christmas morning in our own home instead of our parents home. For some of you, you are thinking....it is about time...what are you thirty years old (not yet) and your mom still fills your stocking???!! Others of you, that grew up in homes that burst at the seams with Christmas like John and I did, understand how big of a deal this is for our families. As I sit in my PJ's after cleaning my house for Christmas Eve I am thinking of the things I will miss this year:

  • Seeing Emma's face light up when she sees her grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. She just adores them all and has such a great time when we are all together.
  • Hearing a child yell "Auntie Sarah" and knowing it is one of my beloved nephews or niece (I have two but one isn't talking yet :) wanting to show me something.
  • Seeing Meemaw read a story to Luke, Jack and Emma with them piled on her lap. Watching Emma look up into the face that looks so much like her own and breaking into a smile.
  • Seeing Yaya take thousands of pictures of Emma, Hannah and Hailey and watching Emma sit and look through the pictures dozens of times with her. Emma has definitely inherited Yaya's love for pictures.
  • Seeing Pappy sit in the living room and play with the girls. The girls love to climb on him and Emma just squeals when she gets to see her Pappy.
  • Watching the look in all of the cousins eyes when Papa gets home from a long day of work. This is when Chritmas really begins at the Pell house.
  • Singing the song "Sisters" with Auntie Heidi and dancing just because we can while our little girls watch us with glee (or fright, not sure)
  • Seeing Auntie Lindsey try and braid Emma's pitifully short hair while Emma snuggles in her lap.
  • Listening to the quarrels between Luke, Jack and Emma as they fight over one toy while thousands are thrown all over the house (yes I will even miss this)
  • Watching Emma and Hannah set off all of the Christmas noise makers at YaYa and Pappy's house and dance naked in the living room. Everything is better for a toddler when they are naked.
  • Holding Hailey while she experiences her first Christmas
  • Uncle Tim's horsey rides (ok Emma will miss these, not me :)
  • Uncle Nick's love for games and his ability to quit a game just before actually loosing.
  • Watching how excited Emma gets when she gets to see her Uncle Justy. We haven't seen him for a year now and we really miss seeing his hairy face.

While I will miss all of these things, there is someone thing that is keeping my mind occupied so much more than not being with our families for Christmas........our son. My little man that is celebrating Christmas Eve right now so far away from us, his family. Tonight marks the night that we are all to reflect on the birth of Christ. The night that we are to wait in expectation for his coming. I am overwhelmed with the feeling of expectation. So much so that any sadness that I have been feeling is being washed away by pure joy and excitement. A good friend of mine sent me some thoughts on Christmas and in it she describes joy as being birthed out of sorrow. My joy is GREAT this Christmas season as I await the arrival of our son. May the expectation of the coming of Christ be real to you this Christmas season and may you all have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

5 comments:

evangitality said...

Sarah that's beautifully put and brings some tears to my eyes. Oh how this process of waiting for Johnny has definitely taught you about expectation even more than a pregnant mama waiting for the delivery day. What a gift to think through this sorrow of waiting that joy has come in the morning:)

Kamille

Belleme said...

Good post Sarah! I've been thinking of you guys a lot this week! God has turned our mourning into dancing again. He's lifted our sorrow... We can't stay silent- we must sing with JOY!!! :) Praise the Lord for sending his son to earth to teach us joy, grace, and forgiveness! Emmanuel! Can't wait until our kids are here with us to celebrate! Love you guys!
Janet

Anonymous said...

Missing you all, but surviving the miles with the love we all have for each other, watch out next year!!

lukeandjack said...

We miss you so much! It's just not the same without you here. Next year Emma's hair will be long enough. I just know it!

Holly said...

You worded it all so well..Loved what you said. I can't even come close to how you explained your thoughts, but Christmas just wasn't the same this year without you all, but mostly without the four of you all being together. We missed you greatly, your songs, your acting, your ability to light the room. We missed the cousins interactions with each other, and seeing Emma's eyes on Christmas morning. (Hope we can do a replay in January). We missed the present opening ceremonies, and it all. But, again, missed knowing you didn't not have Johnny with you. But every other year after this. Next year will be a good year. Cannot wait. Savannah and Mary Jane were our family this year with the rest...It sounds like we all did well, but still missed each other. Another whole year before it happens again. Already excited about 4 grandchildren together next year. Love you more. Mom