Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Expectations....

As I have posted in the past, Emma has been in a dance class. She loves her dance class. So when I found out that Meemaw and Papa were going to be able to be here for her last class which was open to parents to sit in on I was so excited. They were also going to be able to be here for her first dance performance (she is three so maybe more like dance standing but still). Living so far from our parents has been hard. I think this is part of why I was so excited that Emma would get to have her grandparents see her in her dance class. Here is a photo of Emma prior to her dance class the week before Meemaw and Papa were visiting.....



So cute right? She danced and practiced her performance, listened and had a great time as always. Here is a picture of Emma at her last dance class; the one that Meemaw and Papa were able to go to......



She was miserable. For whatever reason, she woke up from her nap in a foul mood and whined all the way to the class. I figured she would snap out of it. I tried the "honey, it's ok....just go and give it a try"; I tried leaving to see if it was me that was making her whine; and I even tried pointing to the teacher and looking at her sternly communicating...."you better dance...or else". I was sooooo frustrated. I think this was my first moment as a mother where I was disappointed in how my kids performed. I never wanted to be that mom. It wasn't a competitive thing, or even that I was embarrassed....kids all have have off days. I was just sooo disappointed. If you would have asked me what I would have done had Emma acted like that prior to the time I would have said that I would have not thought it was a big deal and just laughed about it. Instead I almost started crying. Finally her teacher had her come sit in my lap because she just wasn't participating and instead had the above look on her face the entire time. I huffed to the car with Emma whispering to her that I was very disappointed she had a bad attitude and then when we got home I burst into tears and had to take some time for myself. What? I am THAT mom? Ouch. I hope that the next time my kids disappoint me I will have a more mature reaction to it. I hope that I am not the parent with expectations of their children that are unreasonable. I hope that the next time something like this happens, I can laugh about it at the time instead of just afterward because let's face it, sometimes kids will be kids and you gotta laugh so you don't cry.

5 comments:

Kamille Corrina said...

these are hard moments. I feel like I have had many of them due to Veronica's delays. Mine have been more of a "why can't she be more like (fill in the blank)." It's hard which ever way our minds go as mothers, especially since we are the ones so hard on ourselves. Thank you for sharing both the good and the not so good. You're one fabulous mama!

Anonymous said...

Oh Sarah, they will bring you the greatest joy...the biggest frustrations and once or twice they will break your heart, but I would not have traded being there for anything in the world. Thank you for the gifts of Emma and Johnny Papa and I are so proud and thank God everyday for all of you. Love you Mom.

Lindsey said...

I definitely don't think it makes you a bad mom for having that reaction. It makes you an honest mom for actually admitting how you felt. We are having attitude issues lately too. I'm realizing it's a normal kid thing, but as good parents, we still have those conversations with them.

Lindy said...

Sarah! I'm totally smiling as I read this, because I think most mom's react the same way! It took YEARS for me to realize that as a parent, I can control only so much. Their little personalities will always shine through, though. They are, after all, people. (I know that sounds stupid, but truly, I had to learn that they aren't puppets!)

By the way, I LOVE the new picture of your kids on your blog heading!! They are absolute cuties!

Lucy Sherwood said...

hi Sarah,
thanks for your insightful and honest comments. I haven't had this type of situation yet, so I appreciate hearing about this now. I think it's just natural to be let down when you are looking forward to something and it turns out differently than you had hoped. Lots of love, Lucy